Soft piano music plays continuously in the background for the duration of the film. On a black screen is the text ‘Warning. This video contains coarse language and discussions of violence. Viewer discretion is advised.’

Josh, a pākehā guy with dark blonde hair walks hand in hand with his daughter. Josh is wearing a black sweatshirt with a traditional Māori design on it in white, and black pants. His daughter, whose face is not shown throughout the video, has chin length blonde hair. She is wearing a blue sweatshirt, leopard print leggings and red framed glasses, and looks about four years old.

Cut to Josh walking with his daughter sitting on his shoulders. The shot is in slow motion. White text says, ‘thinking about change’.

Josh: “Hi I'm Josh and I've just hit the 30 mark.”

Cut to Josh sitting in the lounge at a community centre.

Josh: “I am someone who probably gives a bit more than they receive um, you know, always prepared to give others before myself um but then uh, probably to sum it up, I'm just a father first and foremost.”

Cut to Josh and his daughter in a large outdoor bird enclosure, watching a kererū fly by them.

Josh: “I thought you know what I was doing was normal um, you know you know, …”

Cut to Josh sitting in the lounge.

Josh: “… as long as I wasn't doing … physical then what I was doing was okay. I had frustration at work, I had frustration my personal life, I had frustration in my hobbies, I had frustration of the sport and it was just like a mountain of frustration was coming up. And because you're not getting rid of one, and it starts building up and building up and building up. You don't know where the where the avenue is, and unfortunately, it's kind of like the old cliché, you bottle everything up, the wall's going to come down at some point.”  

Josh: “And the wall came down and when you blow that mountain the unfortunately the ones that are the closest to you are the ones that are going to see it.”

Cut to Josh and his daughter in the park. She walks along some miniature train tracks, surrounded by trees and bush.

Josh: “All of that bottling everything up, pushing it down, all came from probably the picture that I had of what a male should have been.”

Cut to Josh sitting in the lounge.

Josh: “You know that strong person. We live in a twenty-first century where the roles are changing a bit, but that to me that was … a strong person, look after your family, provide, be the battling ram of everything.”

Cut to Josh standing in the park. He is wearing glasses in this shot.

 Josh: “Just before the birth of my girl we were actually meant to have twins and…”

Cut to Josh sitting in the lounge.

Josh: “… we lost one at ten weeks. And that was a really interesting time, for a male who has to … you know … we waited five days to find out whether we actually had lost it because of a public holiday.”

Cut to Josh, standing under a huge tree in the park and holding his daughter. She hugs his neck.

Josh: “And so I'm being this strong person and I didn't really deal with it until probably about a year ago.”

Cut to Josh in the lounge.

Josh: “The impact for my daughter per se was quite, intense, and actually one of the reasons why I decided to change. She said one line to me … "why is Daddy always angry?" and I was just like "[ __ ] this is this is not okay."

Josh: “And for me I just didn't want my daughter to think yelling and screaming was normal. Because I lost all control and anger, I ended up spending a um a weekend in a in a police cell, and consequently that was the time where I was going through the, you know, "you may not see your daughter again" you know, and then I was like "nah" all of a sudden. “This is this is the change, I have to see my daughter. I may not be together with my ex, but I'm gonna see my daughter."

Soft piano music plays.

Cut to a black screen.